me and pa-bitch

On weekends, the Harris County holding tank is pretty-much standing room only. It varies of course, depending on the population count, but it’s usually packed. The holding tank is where they take you when you first get to jail to get booked, fingerprinted, and all the rest. It’s where you wait to be moved back into general population.

  One guy in the tank named Pavitch kept demanding to see a lawyer or a judge, or be let out. The cops started calling him Pabitch because he kept pushing the button by the little speaker, asking when he could expect to see the judge. I could tell by the conversation that he had been there for longer than the law allowed. The bosses are not supposed to keep you in holding more than 42 hours, because conditions are so crowded and dirty, but it is not uncommon to be there much longer. Cons basically sleep on top of each other, on a dirty cold concrete floor, so after a few days’ guys tend to get irate. They start asking to see a lawyer and all the rest. But the cops just blow them off and move them back to population whenever they get ready.  After a few days cons start taking it out on each other, fighting and bitching, like when you put dogs in cage and bang on the cage.

For whatever, reason Pavitch (unlike a dog) figured he’d try and buck the system, and was furious about being in such shitty conditions for so long. Perhaps he was expecting better treatment in the U.S.A. He kept screaming that he had papers and was a legal citizen and needed to go to population, and see his lawyer, or be let out. I’d heard of guys without papers, mostly migrant workers, hung up in the tank for weeks. They don’t ever see a lawyer unless the family can raise the money to buy one.

So the bosses started calling him “Pa-Bitch”. He kept ringing the buzzer demanding he see a lawyer or go back to population or whatever, and they kept mocking him and telling him to shut the fuck up. This went on and on and the other cons were getting tired of hearing him complain about it. I took up for him and told them that they would be doing the same thing if they were smart. I spoke loud so I thought the bosses would hear:

“You dumb fuckers, I bet if we all started raising shit we’d be back in population by now laying in our warm bunks, instead of this shit hole, why don’t you get off his ass and let’s join him. We should all demand to see a judge within 72 hours, be booked in, and be taken to population. If we all constantly complained about it maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

Some of the guys were making eye contact with me and shaking their head. I guess the bosses figured they’d better take care of it before it got out of hand. So one opened the door with a clank:

“Pa-Bitch come on, you too Adam, you’re going to population, you’ll see the judge on Monday, promise, just calm down before the AACP shows up”.

Before cons go back to population they have to shower, get de-loused and dress out in county orange. Usually they take cons back in groups, but Pavitch and I were the only ones to go back. Once you got back in the little shower room they make you get naked to spray you with bug dope. It sends a chill down your spine because they keep it real cold. Usually after you get sprayed they turn on the steaming hot showers so it’s not too bad.

So we went through the motions; undressed and stood on the cold tile floor to wait for the boss to come in with the tank of bug dope. We just stood there naked under the blowing cold air-condition, for what seemed like an hour. We were both shivering when the boss came in. To my surprise and horror it was a lady cop, which I’d never seen before and I thought against the law. I was shivering and shaking and I put my hands over my dick. She smirked;

“Come on now boys, don’t be shy, we have to make sure we get all the crabs off too”.

She went over to Pavitch and started running a gloved hand through his hair.

“Look at all these nasty lice, filthy fucker, you guys don’t know how to bath I guess where you come from”.

She started spraying the bug dope all in his hair and face. He close his eyes and put his hands over his mouth, she moved the wand to his dick

“You nasty little bastard, let’s make sure to get all the crabs off that little dick of yours.”

She walked over to me and slapped my face.

“Big man huh, you gonna’ start a big revolution huh”

She sprayed me in the face.

“Now get in the shower and wash this shit off before it gives you cancer.”

We stepped in the shower but the hot water would not come on, only the cold. We hesitated and tried to turn the hot knob

“Come on you little bitches, wash it off before it burns your skin”

I knew that the longer you leave the bug dope on you, it started to tingle, then burn. So I stepped into the cold water. It was freezing cold. Pavitch and I shivered under its assault. The boss lady threw towels on the floor and told us to dry and dress, and that we would see a lawyer on Monday.

In population guys asked us about what happened. We told them they took us back early because we were making noise. I didn’t want to tell them I got punked out by that bitch boss lady, then guys would try and punk me. I just told them we did what we needed to do to get moved back to population. I remembered seeing those pictures of those dudes in that prison, those dudes from the war. I guess we should thank God we live in the U.S.A.